Showing posts with label Rectum? I Hardly Know Him. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rectum? I Hardly Know Him. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The List of Things I Regret Has Been Augmented

For the past couple weeks, I've been very constipated. (Spoiler alert: Gross)

I've been waiting it out, hoping for things to change. My three favorite
things in life are drinking, sex, and poohing, and the order depends on how the day has gone. So clearly the past couple weeks have been bad. So today I went and bought some chocolate ExLax (TM). I checked the dosage on the back. For an adult over 12 years old, it is recommended to eat 2 pieces of chocolate.

And here's where the mistake comes in. Right away I think, "I'm a big guy. At least double that for me is like the right amount for a normal person." And then I think, "I'm really constipated. I need at least another dose. I'll have six pieces."

So, all told, I tripled the recommended dosage.

Hello, new home: